Tag Archives: humor

Jul 1 2013

7.2.13 SWOD

Warmup- This is the warmup for champions

Dynamic- EMOM for 8 minutes- Flat Bench- 3 reps @ 50-60% 1RM (add 5 lbs from last week, 6.24)

Volume

Last week of this bodybuilding micro-cycle, DON’T LEAVE ANY GASOLINA EN EL TANQUE!! Next week will be the start of a more structured strength template to accompany the bodybuilding micro-cycle, so prepare yourselves for greatness.

Motivation

  • Channel the pure energy of these bodybuilders throwing up massive iron and downing insane quantities of brown rice, broccoli, and chicken.
Jun 27 2013

6.28.13 SWOD

Warmup

Strength

  • Flat Bench- 2-2-2-2-2, heavy weight– work up to a 2 rep max here
  • Pendlay Rows– 4-4-4-4-4, heavy weight but don’t go to absolute failure

Conditioning- “Alpha Force 69”

Same conditioning workout as 4.26.13. I liked it so much I’m giving it a name. What is the Alpha Force and why am I specifying sector 69? The answer will come to you if you do the workout.

Motivation

  • Glimpse a day of training in the life of pro surfer Anastasia Ashley as she tones her glutes among other things. CHYEUUHH BOIII.
Jun 26 2013

6.27.13 SWOD

Warmup

Dynamic

  • EMOM for 8 minutes (EMOM = Every Minute On the Minute)
    • 3 Explosive Box Squats @ ~50-60% Back Squat 1RM

Volume (Rest periods should be 60-90 seconds b/t supersets)

Third week of this bodybuilding micro-cycle– you should be feeling both hot and big at this point. As Aristotle once said, “If you got it, flaunt it homie.” Ipso facto (that’s Latin), don’t let those muscle pythons sit in their cage wasting away. Head directly to the beach after this workout and proceed to BARK&FLEX at as many randos as possible. 

Motivation

  • A montage of Arnold flexing in front of thousands of screaming fans and training with the Terminator theme playing in the background? SIGN ME UP.

Jun 24 2013

6.25.13 SWOD

Warmup

Dynamic

  • EMOM for 8 minutes- Flat Bench– 3 reps @ 50-60% 1RM

Volume

For the third week of this bodybuilding micro-cycle, decrease the reps and add on that weight. Push yourself to the limit and learn to tolerate the burning sensation as your muscles are broken down. In the words of a famous movie quote, “If you build it, they will come.” “It” of course refers to muscles and “they” refers to ladies. Science people.

Motivation

  • Watch this weird dude consume over 8000 calories in one day as he documents his two month “epic bulk” progression.
Jun 19 2013

6.20.13 SWOD

Warmup

Dynamic

  • EMOM for 8 minutes (EMOM = Every Minute On the Minute)
    • 3 Explosive Deadlifts @ ~50-60% 1RM

Volume (Rest periods should be 60-90 seconds b/t supersets)

Second week of this specific workout for the bodybuilding “micro-cycle.” Add some weight, keep that form perfect, and watch as your muscles, similar to a Chia Pet, blossom into the house decorations they were meant to be.

Motivation

  • The same young man who challenged the world with the monumental question, “Do you even lift?” returns for a second round of interrogation. This time, he targets the female population, inquiring, “Do you even squat?”
Jun 16 2013

6.17.13 SWOD

Warmup

Strength

  • Back Squat
    • 2-3 warmup sets @ 50-60% 1RM
    • 5 sets of 3 @ ~85-90% 1RM

Conditioning

Use the same weight (as appropriate to your strength level) for the deadlifts and power cleans. Deadlifts should be fast and relatively easy, but maintain good form and engage your muscles as if you were pulling heavy.

Motivation

  • This video montage showing some of history’s greatest recorded displays of strength should get your mind in the right place for Monday’s swole sesh:
Jun 13 2013

6.14.13 SWOD

Warmup

Strength

Use heavy weight for both lifts; hit all the reps and maintain good form. For weighted dips, use a belt or hold a dumbbell between your feet.

Conditioning BROADSWOD- “Portman”

This BROADSWOAD is named for the quintessential romcom brunette, Natalie Portman. Her stunning performance and unparalleled beauty as Queen Amidala in Star Wars: Episode I made it clear she was there to stay in the Hollywood spotlight. Her performance in Black Swan is probably one of the greatest in the history of film, especially that one scene with Mila Kunis.

Motivation

  • Natalie’s apperance on “Between Two Ferns” is a classic:
Jun 10 2013

6.11.13 SWOD

Warmup

Dynamic

  • EMOM for 8 minutes- Flat Bench– 3 reps @ 50-60% 1RM
    • This weight should be fairly easy. Slowly lowering the bar to your chest, pause briefly at the bottom, and explode with full force/velocity on the way back up.

Volume

Another four weeks, another NEW VOLUME WORKOUT! Use this week to take the weights back down a notch; focus on form and do not go to failure. I’m programming such that every four weeks starts a new “micro-cycle” with these bodybuilding volume workouts.

Motivation

  • Dom shows how to properly carry oneself within the sacred realm of the locker room: