SWOLE IS BACK 4.14.14

Bros and brahs,

Hath been many a fortnight, but after an extended respite from posting, I’m happy to give the good news that I’m back. We’re back. “WE ARE BACK BABY!!!”

You’ve probably been wondering what I’ve been up to and what milestones have occurred in my life since my last post.. well, I’ll tell you. In the form of a list.

  1. I’ve had a significant increase in the amount of chest hair present on my body. (Yes, you can have chest hair on all your body parts).
  2. I’ve been working on my side project– music production; check it out: https://soundcloud.com/kardonas
  3. I finally studied for and received my official personal trainer cert. So I am now Konrad Stoick, CPT. Aka I can now spew propaganda and bullshit and, through the miracle of science, it’s automatically true.
  4. I’ve experimented with my programming methodology and refined the ways of SwoleFit to discover the OPTIMAL (note: propaganda word) ways to get swole and improve life satisfaction.

Posts will now be done weekly, during which I’ll give you the whole week’s worth of programming. I’ve decided to switch to a more consistent strength cycle formula to ensure consistent GAINZ in da BIG LIFTS. So without further ado:

Week 1 (of 4 week cycle):

Warmup for all days: Joe DeFranco’s Limber 11. This warmup is CASH MONAY.

Emphasis on strength days should be on pushing heavy ass weight with ample rest. Please use proper form, bros (see Youtube for a wealth of video resources on this subject).

Emphasis on hypertrophy days should be on moving the muscle through it’s full range of motion, using a weight that’s relatively “easy,” focusing very much on proper form, and feeling DAT PUMP while doing so.

***

Monday (Legs/Shoulders/Traps/Abs):

   Strength (3-5 minutes rest b/t sets):

  • Front Squat (Week 1 of 4 week cycle): 5×5, choose a weight that you know you can keep progressing on over coming weeks. We’ll be hitting front squat every Monday
  • Strict Press: 5×5, same deal

   Conditioning:

  • Clean and jerk from floor: 8 sets of 3 reps, EMOM (every minute on the minute). Choose a moderately heavy weight, 60-80% of 1RM
  • 5 rounds- 20 KBS (kettlebell swings), rest 30-60 seconds. Choose a kettlebell that you can get perfect form and unbroken reps for all rounds.
  • Note: you can sub dumbbell swings for KBS if necessary.

***

Tuesday (Chest/Back/Bis/Tris):

   Power/Speed:

  • Bench Press- 8 sets of 3 reps, EMOM, 50-60% 1RM, focus on EXPLODING through each rep

   Hypertrophy/Endurance (60-90 seconds rest b/t sets):

  • Bench Press- 4 x 8-12 w/ 60-80% 1RM (choose a weight that you can continue to increase over coming weeks)
  • Cable Lat Pulldown- 4 x 8-12 (same goes for the rest of the lifts; we’ll be progressing every week)
  • Cable chest fly- 4 x 12-15
  • Machine low row- 4 x 12-15
  • Superset- Chin-ups, Tricep extensions (any form)- 3 x 8-12

***

Wednesday: Rest/Foam Roll/Yoga/Light-Moderate Cardio

***

Thursday (Legs/Shoulders/Traps/Abs):

   Power/Speed:

  • Back Squat- 8 sets of 3, EMOM, 50-60% 1RM, launch like a rocket ship the moment your hip crease goes past parallel

   Hypertrophy/Endurance (1-2 minutes rest b/t sets):

  • Back Squat- 4×8, 60-80% 1RM (choose a weight that you can continue to progress with over coming weeks)
  • Power Clean- 5×5, 60-80% 1RM
  • Strict Press- 4×8, 60-80% 1RM
  • KBS (Kettlebell swings) or Dumbbell Swings- 1 set x 50 reps, unbroken.
  • TTB (Toes to Bar)- 3 x 15

***

Friday (Chest/Back/Bis/Tris):

   Strength (3-5 minutes rest b/t sets):

  • Bench Press- 5×5, 60-80% 1RM (choose a weight youz can continuez to progress with)
  • Dumbbell row- 3×8, fairly heavy, but you should still be confident adding weight each week

   Conditioning:

  • 5 rounds- 8 pull-ups, 10 burpees
  • This conditioning one sounds easy, but it’s a burner if you push yourself. Rest 30-60 seconds between rounds.

***

Saturday/Sunday: Rest/Foam Roll/Yoga/Light- Moderate Cardio

***

Weekly Motivation:

  • Brosciencelife. Who else? Let the sweet, resonating tones of Don Mazetti’s voice lull you into the ideal pre-workout mental state.

 

8.2.13 SWOD

Warmup- Stoke the embers

Strength

  • Bench Press: Find your 1 rep max

Conditioning

  • “10 down- PullupsBurpees
    • 10 Pullups, 10 burpees, 9 pullups, 9 burpees, 8 pullups, 8 burpees, etc. …. 1 pullup, 1 burpee
  • Rest as little as possible between rounds

Motivation- Document your results via the selfie. Aka the Swelfie. Dom shows you how.

8.1.13 SWOD

Last week of this workout as part of the SwoleFIT Strength Cycle Template. Increase the weights 5-10 lbs from last week.

WarmupStarted from the bottom, now we are lifting the heaviest weights.

Dynamic + Lower Body Power Accessory

  1. EMOM (Every Minute on the Minute) for 8 minutes, 3 explosive Pause Squats @ 50-60% 1RM
    • Pause Squat = set the pins such that the bar will rest on them when you are at parallel. Pause for a second at the bottom of each squat, then explode upwards.
  2. Barbell Step-ups: 2 sets, 6-8 reps (use a fairly heavy weight here, goal is to improve power)
  3. Romanian Deadlift: 3 sets, 6-8 reps (heavy weight here as well)

Volume (Shoulders + Traps, 3-0-3 tempo, 3 seconds up, 3 seconds down for each lift, use lighter weights to maintain form, 60-90 seconds rest between sets)

  1. Seated Dumbbell Military Press- 4 sets of 6-8 reps
  2. Standing Dumbbell Upright Row- 4 sets of 6-8 reps
  3. Dumbbell Lateral Raises- 2 sets of 6-8 reps
  4. Dumbbell Reverse Fly’s- 2 sets of 6-8 reps

Ab Circuit- (2 rounds, 8-12 reps): Weighted Sit-Ups, Lying Leg RaiseBarbell Ab RollersDumbbell Side Bends

Motivation- You serious about taking your education to the next level? Apply to Hyphy University now.

7.30.13 SWOD

Warmup- Stretch Armstrong

Dynamic- EMOM (Every Minute On the Minute) for 8 minutes- Flat Bench- 3 explosive reps @ 50-60% 1RM

Volume (3-0-3 tempo: 3 seconds down, 3 seconds up, 60-90 seconds b/t supersets)

Last week of the bodybuilding micro-cycle as part of the SwoleFIT strength template. Push yourself to the ultimate edge. Don’t let go. Never let go.

Motivation- Kali Muscle gets asked to leave Planet Fitness for being too swole. What an absurd commercial.

Weekend Posts (7.28.13 ARWOD + 7.29.13 MWOD)

Saturday (7.27.13)- Recover this.

Swole brethren, if you’re looking to take your knowledge on supplement effectiveness to the next level, check out this guide by Examine.com. Parse through the bro science and get to the real science. Essentially, what I’m trying to say is that creatine is legit.

Sunday (7.28.13)- Mind

The following mini-documentary chronicles the story of Scott, a man born with cerebral palsy, who chose not to let his condition define who he was as a person. His unshakable willpower and determination are a reminder to us all that we should be thankful for those gifts which we do have and we should seek to use those gifts to the best of our ability.

7.26.13 SWOD

Warmup- Ain’t no feelin like it, homie.

Strength

  • Flat Bench: 12 sets of 1 @~90-95% 1RM
    • Third week of 4-week bench strength cycle, add 10-20 lbs from weight used last week.
    • Rest should be 60-90 seconds between sets.

Conditioning

*Sub 30 jumping jacks if you don’t have a jump rope

By this point of the strength cycle, you should be feeling invincible both inside the weight room and outside in the real world. You’re most likely getting comments from strangers on the street asking, “What kind of steroid cycle are you on?” or “How many Olympics have you competed in?” or my personal favorite (not really a question), “Here’s $300 for being so swole, Mister.” The important thing is to keep it all in perspective and maintain a humble demeanor. Flex when necessary, keep your chin up, world peace.

Motivation

  • Friday is here, time to celebrate. Just don’t be this guy.

7.25.13 SWOD

Third week of this workout as part of the SwoleFIT Strength Cycle Template. Increase the weights 5-10 lbs from last week.

WarmupStarted from the bottom, now we are lifting heavier weights.

Dynamic + Lower Body Power Accessory

  1. EMOM (Every Minute on the Minute) for 8 minutes, 3 explosive Pause Squats @ 50-60% 1RM
    • Pause Squat = set the pins such that the bar will rest on them when you are at parallel. Pause for a second at the bottom of each squat, then explode upwards.
  2. Barbell Step-ups: 2 sets, 6-8 reps (use a fairly heavy weight here, goal is to improve power)
  3. Romanian Deadlift: 3 sets, 6-8 reps (heavy weight here as well)

Volume (Shoulders + Traps, 3-0-3 tempo, 3 seconds up, 3 seconds down for each lift, use lighter weights to maintain form, 60-90 seconds rest between sets)

  1. Seated Dumbbell Military Press- 4 sets of 6-8 reps
  2. Standing Dumbbell Upright Row- 4 sets of 6-8 reps
  3. Dumbbell Lateral Raises- 2 sets of 6-8 reps
  4. Dumbbell Reverse Fly’s- 2 sets of 6-8 reps

Ab Circuit- (2 rounds, 8-12 reps): Weighted Sit-Ups, Lying Leg RaiseBarbell Ab RollersDumbbell Side Bends

Motivation- Vitali from VitalyzdTV is back again– provoking random strangers by asking them what kind of steroid cycles they’re on.